BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: My Hormones Didn’t Betray Me. The System Did. (Part 2 of 2)

When My Hormones Staged a Coup

This wasn’t a midlife blip.
This wasn’t stress.
This wasn’t me “losing discipline.”

It was a hostile takeover.

I did everything we’re told to do:
Be strong.
Be disciplined.
Be in control.

And then my hormones stopped cooperating.

Perimenopause didn’t arrive politely.
It ambushed me.

Brain fog.
Anxiety.
Public bleeding.

A body that felt loud, unfamiliar, and suddenly untrustworthy.

What broke me wasn’t just the symptoms.

It was the silence.

No roadmap.
No language.
No doctor connecting the dots.

So, I did what many women do when their bodies stop behaving:

I got quieter.
I blamed myself.
I tried to control what was never meant to be controlled.

Here’s the truth no one tells us:

Perimenopause doesn’t make you weak.
It exposes the lie that your worth was ever tied to obedience, youth, productivity, or reproduction.

This wasn’t a breakdown.
It was a threshold.

Why Part 2 Matters

Part 2 is where the story turns.

Photo: Doctor listening to patient

It’s where I stopped shrinking and started telling the truth.
Where a woman doctor finally saw me, not just my labs, my weight, or my BMI.
Where I stopped treating my body like a problem and started trusting it as wisdom.

And this matters because Ignited Leadership doesn’t begin with strategy or power.

It begins with self-trust.

You cannot lead your life—let alone anyone else’s—
if you’ve been taught to override your body and endure in silence.

Part 2 is about:

• What happens when a woman is believed
• How listening to your body changes everything
• Why midlife is the start of authority not invisibility
• How perimenopause becomes the foundation of a new kind of leadership

Not power-over.
Not push-through.

Power-with. Truth. Embodiment. Voice.

This isn’t oversharing.
This is reclaiming the story.

We’re not breaking down.
We’re becoming.

The Power of Getting Loud (Even When It Takes a Minute or Years)

Photo: Amplify your voice

About a year into my perimenopause “joyride,” I went in for my annual checkup.

Something was happening to my body that I couldn’t control.

I’d gained weight rapidly.
My waist disappeared.
I was still bleeding monthly.
I was depressed.

Because no one talked about it, I thought I was alone.

Grin and bear it, Sister.

My doctor—a tiny woman—looked at my chart and told me to do something about my weight.

“It’s dangerous,” she warned.
Diabetes. High blood pressure. Stroke. Cancer.

Then came the prescription:
Count calories.
Cut alcohol.
Exercise more.

I'm a registered dietitian.
I had a history of disordered eating.
I worked out six days a week.

I left ashamed.

It’s me. I’m the problem. It’s me.

Two years later, another yearly checkup visit. Different woman doctor. Same stats. Same lecture.

Then, almost as an afterthought:
“Is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

I found my voice in the story the scale didn’t tell.

“Yes,” I said quietly.
“I’m dry everywhere. Everywhere.”

She nodded. “That’s normal. You're not producing as much estrogen anymore.”

I tried again.

“It hurts to have sex. When my husband finishes, it feels like salt on a wound.”

Without looking up, she replied:
“You need more foreplay.”

I left ashamed.

Again.

When a Woman Is Finally Seen

At sixty, I couldn’t hear another lecture.

“I want to talk to someone about my hormones,” I said.
“I’m doing what I’m supposed to do and it’s not working.”

She paused.
“Dr. O’Bryan will see you.”

Dr. Courtney O’Bryan had been my GP years earlier.
Warm. Thoughtful. A listener.

I hesitated.
“I can’t afford concierge care—”

“You don’t have to. She takes insurance for hormone care.”

I almost cried.

The next week I sat in O'Bryan's office.

“Michelle, tell me what’s going on with you,” she asked.

For twenty minutes, I told the whole truth:
Weight gain.
Brain fog.
Depression and anxiety.
Painful sex.
Heart palpitations.
Night sweats.
Interrupted sleep.
Mood swings.

“And the end,” I said.

“The end?” she asked.

“Yes. The story that says we’re done. Invisible. Irrelevant.”

She looked me in the eye.

“It’s a lie.”

This time I did cry.

“I’ve got you,” she said.

She walked me through the research on Hormone Therapy (HT) , not “replacement,” but support. Enough estrogen and progesterone to ease suffering. Enough to let women thrive.

For me, HT worked.

And when I found relief?

I got LOUD.

Dr. Z Self-Care Moment— Because This Is A Lot:
After reading this, put one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
Take three slow breaths and say:
“My body is not the problem. It is telling the truth.”

I’m Not a Doctor. I’m a Woman Who Refused Silence.

I’m not a clinician.
I haven’t run research trials.

I’m a woman who went through hell to be heard.

Hormone therapy isn’t right for everyone.
There are real contraindications, including estrogen-sensitive cancers and certain cardiovascular conditions.

But every woman deserves information, respect, and choice.

How Do I Get My Voice Back in Healthcare?

Here’s how we get LOUDER with agency, confidence, and power-with.

Ways to Advocate for Your Body & Health

5 LOUDER GIRL Ways to Advocate for Your Body & Health In Healthcare

1. Trust Your Body First
   Your symptoms are real even when labs are “normal.”
2. Tell the Unedited Truth
   Stop being polite. Say the hard things out loud.
3. Ask Direct Questions
   “What are my options?” is not disrespectful—it’s leadership.
4. Name Dismissal Immediately
   “I don’t feel heard.” Say it. Pause. Repeat if needed.
5. Walk Away When Necessary
   Firing a doctor is not dramatic—it’s self-respect.

LOUDER GIRL tip: You do NOT have to do this alone . I’ve offered to go to my friend’s doctor’s appointments to support and advocate for them.

If you don’t feel comfortable bringing someone you know, ask your healthcare provider if patient advocates are available.

Photo: Women in community

Join the LOUDER GIRL Community

Perimenopause and menopause are not endings.

They are initiations.

Into truth.
Into authority.
Into voice.

This is what it means to become a LOUDER GIRL.

Coming in February: Power With, Not Power Over
February 2 & 16 | 4–5 PM Pacific
More connection. Less hierarchy. Leadership rooted in relationship.

YES, I’m In → RSVP Now https://www.loudergirl.com/webinar