IGNITED LEADERSHIP: When Women Tell the Truth, the World Pushes Back

There was a moment in my life when I thought I was losing my mind.

It happened on a business trip to New Orleans.

I was standing in the back of a conference room filled with important people — MDs, PhDs, researchers, statisticians, dietitians from across the country.

And I was crying.

Not the polite kind of crying you can hide behind a tissue.

The kind where your body betrays you.

The kind where you realize something inside you has cracked open.

 

When Anxiety Becomes Terror

Two weeks before that flight from San Diego to New Orleans, I lost ten pounds I didn’t have to lose.

I couldn’t eat.

My nerves were fried.

My fight-or-flight system was in overdrive.

I had convinced myself I was going to die on that airplane.

That my daughters would grow up without their mother.

At night, when I couldn’t sleep, I’d tiptoe down the hallway and sit on the cold linoleum floor.

Rocking back and forth.

Quietly crying.

Praying that something would happen — a broken leg, a sudden illness — anything that would keep me from getting on that plane.

But I got on the plane.

Many mini bottles of vodka got me through the turbulence.

I made it to New Orleans.

And then the fear turned its attention to the flight home.

Photo: Fear of Flying

 

“You Have PTSD.”

When I got back, I made an appointment with a therapist named Ellen.

I knew something was wrong.

This wasn’t the normal buzzing anxiety I’d lived with for years.

This was different.

Driving over bridges convinced they would collapse.

Walking into buildings expecting earthquakes.

Looking out my kitchen window and imagining a man in black hiding in the bushes with a gun.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Within fifteen minutes of hearing my story, Ellen said:

“You have PTSD.”

I scoffed.

“PTSD? I didn’t fight in Vietnam. I didn’t live in a war zone. We had food. A house. Water…”

She nodded gently.

“You’re right,” she said.

“But you grew up in chaos. And now your daughter is going to kindergarten, and you don’t know how to protect her.”

She paused.

“It’s the same way you felt about protecting your younger sister.”

She handed me a tissue.

And for the first time in a long time, I felt seen.

Not judged.

Not dismissed.

Seen.

Photo: Being Seen

 

The Books That Helped Me Find My Voice

Ellen knew I loved books.

She prescribed them like medicine.

This was over 30 years ago, and I still remember the ones that found their way into my hands and heart:

Animal Dreams — Barbara Kingsolver

The Dance of Anger — Harriet Lerner

Codependent No More — Melody Beattie

But there was one book that brought me to my knees.

Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

Photo: Caged Bird

Maya Angelou, a brave and brilliant woman, had endured unspeakable trauma.

And yet she found a way to sing.

To tell the truth.

To use her voice as healing:

“The caged bird sings with a fearful trill

of things unknown but longed for still…

for the caged bird sings of freedom.”

Angelou showed me something I had never seen modeled before.

You can tell the truth even when you’re scared.

Especially when you’re scared.

She once said:

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

So, I began telling mine.

And once I started, I began noticing something else.

Women have been doing this for a very long time.

Speaking truth.

Facing backlash.

Changing the world anyway.

 

IGNITED LEADERSHIP IN ACTION

Women Who Refused to Be Quiet

Different decades.

Different stages.

Same pattern.

A woman speaks.

The backlash comes.

The world shifts anyway.

 

Sinéad O’Connor

In 1992, during a live performance on Saturday Night Live, Sinéad O’Connor tore up a photo of the Pope.

She was protesting abuse within the Catholic Church.

The response was brutal.

She was mocked.

Blacklisted.

Publicly ridiculed.

Years later, investigations confirmed the systemic abuse she had tried to expose.

Ignited Leadership Lesson: Speaking the truth early often means being punished first.

 

Anita Hill

In 1991, Anita Hill testified before the U.S. Senate about sexual harassment by Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas.

She was interrogated.

Mocked.

Publicly attacked.

But millions of women watching recognized something instantly:

Their own experience.

After her testimony:

• Workplace harassment reporting increased dramatically
• National conversations about sexual harassment exploded
• Legal protections expanded

Thomas was confirmed.

But the cultural shift had already begun.

Ignited Leadership Lesson: Sometimes leadership is telling the truth when the entire system hopes you won’t.

 

Christine Blasey Ford

Nearly 30 years later, history repeated itself.

Christine Blasey Ford testified during the confirmation hearings of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

She described an alleged sexual assault from when they were teenagers.

Her testimony was emotional.

Careful.

Credible.

And she faced the same backlash.

Threats.

Scrutiny.

Attempts to discredit her.

Kavanaugh was confirmed.

But millions of women again recognized themselves in her story.

Ignited Leadership Lesson: Truth-telling doesn’t guarantee justice, but it cracks open the silence.

 

The Chicks

In 2003, during a concert in London, Natalie Maines of The Chicks said something simple:

“We’re ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas.”

She was criticizing George W. Bush and the Iraq War.

The backlash was immediate.

Country radio stations banned their music.

Fans destroyed their CDs publicly.

Death threats poured in.

For a moment, it looked like their careers were over.

But instead of apologizing, they responded with music.

Their 2006 album Taking the Long Way included the now-famous anthem:

“Not Ready to Make Nice.”

The album won five Grammy Awards, including Album of the Year.

Ignited Leadership Lesson: When women speak in spaces that expect silence, the backlash may be loud — but so is the change they ignite.

 

The Pattern

When Anita Hill testified in 1991 and Christine Blasey Ford spoke in 2018, they stepped into rooms built to doubt them and told the truth anyway.

When The Chicks criticized the Iraq War, they were banned from radio — and answered with a Grammy-winning anthem.

When Sinéad O’Connor exposed abuse years before the world was ready to hear it, she was mocked and blacklisted.

And long before them, Maya Angelou wrote I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, breaking silence around racism and trauma with lyrical, unflinching truth.

Different decades.

Different arenas.

Same pattern.

A woman speaks.

The backlash comes.

The world changes anyway.

That’s Ignited Leadership.

 

Ignited Leader Spotlight

Meet Christine Reed, founder of Rugged Outdoorswoman Publishing.

Christine is a thru-hiker, trail runner, and all-around rugged adventurer.

She is the author of the award-winning memoir Alone in Wonderland and editor of the short story collection Blood Sweat Tears, which recently won an award at the Banff Mountain Book and Film Festival.

Her publishing company is dedicated to bringing the adventurous stories of women and gender-expansive people into the spotlight.

You’ll most often find her exploring the wild landscapes of the American Southwest — especially New Mexico.

LOUDER GIRL Archetype
The Truth Teller
I speak what others fear.

Most LOUDER GIRL thing you've ever done?
Believing the story I had to tell was worthy of the time, energy, and paper it was printed on.

One thing you're done apologizing for.
Saying no.

How We Met
I met Christine in Taos in November 2025.

I’d gone to the El Monte Resort for a massage.

After what may have been the best massage of my life, I slowly floated my way to the front desk.

A tall woman with long, thick, curly brown hair and a huge smile greeted me.

“How was your massage?” she asked.

“Ah-mazing,” I said. “Sandy’s incredible. She listened to my body. Plus, she’s badass. She builds log cabins.”

Christine laughed.

“Yes… she gets that feedback a lot.”

Somehow that quick exchange turned into an hour-long conversation.

That’s the Taos effect.

People slow down.

They stay curious.

They connect.

Christine and I talked about writing, storytelling, and the deep belief we share:

Women’s stories deserve to be told.

That belief eventually led Christine to create Rugged Outdoorswoman Publishing — a space dedicated to amplifying stories of adventure, exploration, and resilience.

Stories that have historically been told mostly by men.

Final Words from Christine

“We are living through hard times.

Our creative outlets can be lifelines.

Our projects can bring joy and inspiration — to ourselves and others.

But if you remove the joy…

If everything becomes about money…

If you lose sight of purpose…

Then you’re just feeding the machine.”

So don’t just create content.

Create joy.

Create change.

Create inspiration.

The Invitation

Ignited Leadership isn’t about being fearless.

It’s about telling the truth even when fear is clutching your throat.

It’s about refusing to shrink your voice so others can stay comfortable.

It’s about remembering that every time a woman speaks, the world shifts — even if the change takes years to appear.

And sometimes?

It begins with a woman sitting on a cold linoleum floor in the middle of the night, wondering if she’s losing her mind.

And discovering instead…

she’s finding her voice.

 

ARE YOU READY TO BE A LOUDER GIRL?

If this blog made you think:

“Yes. I want more of this.”

Then Join LOUDER GIRL.

LOUDER GIRL is a community of women who:

• reclaim their voices
• practice Ignited Leadership
• celebrate other women
• refuse to shrink