IGNITED LEADERSHIP: No More Labels. I’m Taking My Identity Back

INTEGRATION IS A REBELLION

Stop outsourcing your identity. Start leading from within.

Last week, we talked about fragmentation — the masks, the personas, the good-girl edits we make to survive.

This week?

We integrate.

And integration isn’t just seeing your separate parts.
It’s trusting yourself enough to stop asking the world who you are.

CONFESSION: I LOVE A GOOD LABEL

I am a sucker for quizzes.

• I’ve done StrengthsFinder. Twice.
• The Enneagram? Yep.
• Myers-Briggs? Three times. (Can’t remember the results.)
• ACE score? High.
• Tarot cards? Absolutely.
• Astrology? Don’t tempt me.
• Fortune cookies? I crack them open and read the destiny like it’s scripture.

According to the world, I am:

Strengths: empathetic, curious, artistic, passionate, spiritual, connector.
Weaknesses: people-pleaser, conflict-avoidant, indecisive, impulsive, flighty.
Ambivert: 51% extrovert, 49% introvert.

And according to Chinese fortune cookies:

“Be careful who you trust. Salt and sugar look the same… in bed.”
“A thrilling time is in your immediate future… in bed.”
“You are a very talented person… in bed.”

David, my pragmatic, grounded, introverted husband of twenty-six years, shakes his head at my willingness to believe all of it.

He doesn’t understand how I can:

Photo: Me partying

• Whoop it up on the dance floor
• Need two weeks to recover from social engagements
• Feel everything
• Freeze in self-doubt
• Seek approval from people I shouldn’t give a damn about

He can’t fathom how someone with my resume, my PhD, my voice could still struggle with imposter syndrome.

But here’s the truth:

I’ve outsourced my identity.

To experts.
To systems.
To applause.
To personality tests.
To approval.

No more. No mas.

Photo: No

NOT ANOTHER LABEL

Not another diagnosis.
Not another quiz.
Not another expert telling me who I am.

NOW I’m insourcing my identity.
I’m going inward.

And this is where Ignited Leadership begins.

CALLOUT: IGNITED LEADERSHIP DECLARATION

I trust my intuition more than I trust external approval.

That’s it.
That’s the revolution.

Integration is power-with all the pieces of me.
All my personas.
All my contradictions.
All at one table.

“OKAY, DR. Z… IS THIS MAGIC?”

No.

It’s not instantaneous.
It’s not aesthetic.
It’s not a glow-up.

It’s a return.

A practice.

A choice you make daily.

Authenticity is not becoming someone new.

It’s remembering who you were before you were trained to shrink.

Photo: Woman living large

HOW TO INSOURCE YOUR IDENTITY

(Grounded. Practical. Not always comfortable.)

1. The 10-Second Body Check
   Before you answer.
   Before you agree.
   Before you apologize.
   Pause.

Ask:

• What’s happening in my body?
• Tight chest?
• Clenched jaw?
• Warm expansion?
• Relaxed belly?

Your body speaks before your brain rationalizes.

This isn’t woo.

It’s nervous system literacy.

Authenticity begins when you trust sensation over social conditioning.

2. Replace “What Will They Think?” with “What Do I Think?”
   External approval is loud.
   Inner knowing is quiet.
   
   Instead of:
   Will they like this?

Ask:

• Do I like this?
• Does this feel aligned?
• Would I choose this if no one were watching?

That’s insourcing identity.

3. Hold a Council Meeting with Your Parts
   Stop trying to eliminate the “messy” ones.
   Invite them.

Ask:

• What does my ambitious self want?
• What does my tired self need?
• What is my scared self protecting?
• What does my wild self crave?

Authenticity isn’t choosing one personality.

It’s facilitating all of them.

That’s Ignited Leadership.

THE TRUTH, DR. Z STYLE

Authenticity isn’t magic.

It’s micro-choices.

It’s choosing inner alignment over applause.
It’s power-with your rage and your softness.
It’s trusting your body before the boardroom.
It’s self-devotion over self-abandonment.

Ignited Leadership begins within.

Because if you don’t trust yourself,
you will always look for someone else to lead you.

And you already know this:

You are not becoming someone new.

You’re remembering who you were
before you were trained to become invisible.

LOUDER GIRL Truth

You are not crazy.
You are not broken.

You are a woman who learned to survive in a world that rewarded fragmentation.

And now?

We raise awareness.
We normalize the conversation.
We remove shame.
We tell the truth about masks.

And we integrate.

Louder. Together.

READY TO PRACTICE THIS IN COMMUNITY?

Join the LOUDER GIRL Community → https://www.loudergirl.com/join

UPCOMING GATHERINGS

If this hit something in you…

If you’re tired of performing your life instead of living it…

If you’ve been the competent one, the calm one, the “I’ve got it” one…

It’s time to integrate.

Join us inside a LOUDER GIRL Gathering where we practice power-with ourselves and each other.

No masks.
No perfection.
No performance.

Just truth. Story. Sisterhood.

Come as you are. Give what you can. Your story belongs here.

The IGNITED LEADERSHIP Framework: How We Lead from Lived Experience
📅 March 9 & 23 | 4–5 PM Pacific

Join this 60-minute LOUDER GIRL gathering, designed to help women step into Ignited Leadership—the kind that rises from lived experience, not polished performance.
This guided space invites truth-telling, deep listening, and real-time self-leadership in community.

Here, presence matters more than image, and integrity matters more than appearance.
This is Ignited Leadership in action—power-with, not power-over—rooted in sisterhood, access, and belonging.
Your presence matters, and your story is what lights the fire.

👉 YES, I’M IN → RSVP NOW:
https://www.loudergirl.com/webinar