IGNITED LEADERSHIP: I Didn’t Want to Show Up (But I Did Anyway) (Part 1 of 2)

A LOUDER GIRL Story from the San Diego Writers Festival

I have a confession.

I didn’t want to attend.

But I had a booth at the 2026 San Diego Writers Festival.

And I still didn’t want to show up.

Why?

Let me count the ways:

• I was tired
• I was despondent
• I was deep in my people-pleasing, perfectionist, imposter syndrome spiral

The kind that whispers:

Who do you think you are?

The kind that shows up right when you're about to be seen.

THE TRUTH

This wasn’t just “tired.”

This was:

• Trying to start a fire with no wood
• No match
• No oxygen

While the world is already burning

And still…

I showed up.

HOW I GOT THERE (AKA: IGNITED LEADERSHIP IN REAL TIME)

I put on:

• My LOUDER GIRL T-shirt (my cape)
• Imaginary bubble wrap (boundaries, Baby) 
• My whole self—body, mind, spirit

And I borrowed courage from:

Every woman who came before me and refused to stay quiet

Because here’s the truth:

We don’t do this alone

David helped me set up.
Checked on me.
Took photos.

Support is leadership. Community is leadership.

Photo: Community is Leadership

THE ARRIVAL (AKA: MY EGO ENTERS THE CONVERSATION)

I showed up an hour late.

Scene:

Other booths: polished, perfect, prepared

Me: sweaty, overwhelmed, carrying a wagon of chaos

Oh—you’re the one. We were wondering if you’d show.”

My nervous system’s response:

• DEFEND
• PROVE
• PANIC

Instead?

I said:

“Yes, I’m the one.”

And stayed.

THE SHIFT

You know that feeling before:

• The gym
• Therapy
• A real conversation

You dread it.

And then after?

• Relief
• Connection
• Joy

Photo: Connecting at the SD Writers Festival

That was this day.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART

“I’m Getting Louder About…”

I asked women to complete this sentence on sticky notes.

This is WHAT WOMEN ARE READY TO TALK ABOUT (READ THIS TWICE)

• Boundaries
• My needs
• My self
• Being assertive about my health care
• Period pain
• Infertility

“Babymaking: A Memoir” by Vincentia Schroeter

• Stillbirth
• Grief
• My pain
• Walking in my calling
• Showing up
• Being creative
• Writing my story
• Telling the world I’m a writer
• Being authentic
• Being unapologetically me
• My joy

Photo: JOY!

• Empathy
• Kindness
• Compassion
• Standing up for others
• Speaking my truth
• Protecting free speech
• Protecting the environment
• Being quiet (yes… even this)

LET ME SAY THIS LOUDER

These are not random.

These are:

• The things we’ve been silenced for
• The things we’ve been told are too much
• The things we’ve been told are not important

And yet…

➜ This is where leadership lives

Photo: Sharing Stories

WHAT CHANGED IN ONE YEAR

Last year:

Women said:

• “Kind of…”
• “Not really…”
• “I’m just a poet”
• “I haven’t published anything”

This year?

They said:

• “Yes. I’m a writer.”
• “I’m finishing my memoir.”
• “I’m writing a novel.”

And when someone hesitated?

I said:

Repeat after me: I am a writer.

Because:

➜ Identity is leadership
➜ Naming yourself is power

Photo: Teenage Author & Poet-Shanti Hershenson

IGNITED LEADERSHIP IN ACTION

This day embodied:

1. Story is a Leadership Tool
   When women tell the truth ➜ culture shifts

2. Self-Truth Through the Body
   Your body isn’t a problem
   It’s a compass

3. Community Over Competition
   We are not meant to do this alone

4. Courage Over Comfort
   Comfort maintains the status quo
   Courage changes it

AND THEN… REAL LIFE HIT

End of day.

I’m exhausted.

A man approaches.

“Besides being loud… what is LOUDER GIRL?”

And then he…

• Dismisses women’s experiences
• Minimizes #MeToo
• Blames women for sexual harassment
• Suggests women should “earn” Social Security

My body:

• Flushed
• Heart racing
• Rage rising

And here’s the truth:

➜ I reacted
➜ I got pissed
➜ I wasn’t my “best self”

BUT HERE’S THE REAL LEADERSHIP QUESTION

Not:

Did I handle it perfectly?

But:

➜ What does leadership look like in hard, messy, and real moments?

YOUR TURN (THIS IS THE POINT)

Ignited Leadership Question

What would you have done?

• Would you engage?
• Walk away?
• Challenge?
• Protect your energy?

There is no perfect answer.

There’s only:

➜ Your truth
➜ Your body
➜ Your choice

FINAL TRUTH

I didn’t want to go to the SD Writers Festival.

And it became:

• Connection
• Truth
• Courage
• Community

TAKEAWAYS (SHORT. SHARP. LOUD.)

• Showing up is leadership
• Naming yourself is leadership
• Telling the truth is leadership
• Staying—even when it’s uncomfortable—is leadership

Are you ready to be a Louder Girl?

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“Yes. I want more of this.”

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