IGNITED LEADERSHIP CIRCLES: How Stories Help Us Find Ourselves and Each Other

Growing up, I escaped into books.

First came Disney: Snow White. Sleeping Beauty. Cinderella. Good, beautiful girls rescued from unhappy lives by handsome princes and true love’s kiss.

Was that what I was supposed to wait for?

Then I found Little House on the Prairie. I imagined myself inside a family where everyone contributed. They planted, hunted, cooked, sewed, preserved food, ate together, and gathered around the fire while Pa played his fiddle.

It felt safe. Connected. Like belonging.

Next came Island of the Blue Dolphins and Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.

Karana was surviving alone in the physical world. Margaret was trying to understand herself in the emotional one.

Different girls. Same question:

How do I find my way when I feel so alone?

And then there was Carrie.

A sixteen-year-old girl bullied by her classmates, abused by her mother, and publicly humiliated at prom until years of shame and rage explode.

I silently cheered when Carrie fought back.

Does that make me bad?

Or maybe you understand.

Maybe you remember being a girl and feeling something girls weren’t supposed to feel.

Anger. Rage. The desire to fight back.

THE GIRLS BETWEEN THE PAGES

Reading was solitary. I’d go to my room, close the door, crawl in bed with my cat, Norman, open a book, and leave the real world for a while.

Strangely, I felt less alone there.

Karana showed me I could survive.

Margaret showed me I wasn’t the only girl trying to figure shit out.

Carrie showed me girls could be fucking angry.

Books were my first sisterhood.

Before I knew how to tell my own story, I found pieces of myself in theirs.

Have you felt that way, too?

Lonely? Angry? Scared? Confused?

Maybe I’m not the only one.

That’s what stories can do.

And it’s what happens when we share our stories with one another.

THE STORIES WE DIDN’T CHOOSE

The problem is, not every story we’ve been given has set us free.

We’ve inherited stories about who we are supposed to be that have been passed down through families, religion, books, movies, schools, workplaces, advertising, laws, and culture.

• Be a good girl.
• Your body is not your own.
• Don't be too loud.
• Don't make anyone uncomfortable.
• Take care of everyone else.
• Be grateful.
• Follow the leader. 
• Don't take up too much space.

Eventually, those stories worm their way into our minds and bodies.

We stop hearing them as stories. We start hearing them as truth.

But they’re not necessarily our truth.

And that's where Ignited Leadership begins.

FIRST, WE FIND OUR OWN STORY

The first part of the Ignited Leadership framework is Leading From Within.

It’s when we get quiet enough to ask:

What do I believe?

What does my body know?

What do I want?

Which stories are mine—and which were handed to me?

We reconnect with our voice, our bodies, and our whole selves.

We begin telling the truth about our own lives.

But we don’t stop there.

Because something powerful happens when we bring our stories to one another.

WHEN A WOMAN SHARES HER STORY

We say:

“I felt that way, too.”

“I stayed way too long.”

“I thought something was wrong with me.”

“I was terrified when I finally said no.”

“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing either.”

And suddenly:

Oh. It’s not just me.

We don’t always need another woman to fix us, advise us, or tell us what to do.

Sometimes we simply need her to tell the truth about her own life.

Because her story gives us permission to question ours.

Her story says: You’re not the only one.

That’s storytelling.

That’s sisterhood.

And that’s the second part of Ignited Leadership: Rewriting Power Together.

STORIES BRING US CLOSER

There’s research behind what many of us have felt while reading a great book.

Reading fiction has been associated with empathy and our ability to understand other people’s thoughts and emotions. Stories invite us inside lives we haven’t lived.

For a few hundred pages, we see the world through someone else’s eyes.

A different childhood.

A different body.

A different loss.

A different fear.

A different love.

Story says:

Come closer. Let me show you what the world looks like from here.

When women share their real stories, we do something similar:

I don’t have to have lived your life to listen to it.

I don’t have to agree with every choice you’ve made to understand you.

I only have to be willing to enter your story.

And you, mine.

That’s empathy.

That’s connection.

That’s how we begin crossing the distance between us.

AND THEN WE START SEEING THE PATTERN

One woman says she learned not to be difficult.

Another learned to keep the peace.

Another was called bossy.

Another learned anger made her unlikable.

Another spent thirty years believing taking care of herself was selfish.

Different women. Different lives. Same damn story.

Suddenly, something we thought was our personal failing looks different.

Maybe it wasn’t just my inability to say no.

My need to be liked.

My shame about my body.

My fear of speaking up.

Maybe there’s a bigger story here—about women, power, beauty, aging, motherhood, work, leadership, worth, and belonging.

Once we can see the story, we can question it.

And once we question it, we can rewrite it.

THIS IS WHY WE CREATED IGNITED LEADERSHIP CIRCLES

Not because women need another place to perform.

God knows we have enough of those.

We need places where we can take off the hats and masks we wear.

Places where we can say:

Here's what happened.

Here's what I made it mean.

Here's the story I've been carrying.

And I'm not sure I want to carry it anymore.

For 90 minutes, we'll gather virtually.

No homework.

No preparation.

No fixing.

No pretending.

Just women telling stories, listening deeply, laughing, reflecting, and practicing becoming the leaders of our own lives.

Because when one woman tells the truth, another woman often recognizes her own.

And maybe another thinks:

Wait. I don't have to keep living that story either.

Our first Circles are October 15 and October 29.

READY TO JOIN THE CIRCLE?

It’s free. There’s a place for you here.

REGISTER HERE: https://www.loudergirl.com/gatherings