Ignited Leadership: A Joyful Woman Is Dangerous

I thought I was mad at the airport.
Turns out I was starving for joy.

It had been a long day of traveling.

I got dropped off two and a half hours early for my Southwest flight from San Diego to Sacramento.

Why so early, Dr. Z?

I’m glad you asked.

The San Diego County Regional Airport Authority just spent $3.8 billion on a brand-new, steel-windowed, artsy, craft-beer-every-20-feet Terminal 1.

Nineteen new gates.
5,200 new parking spaces.
“Enhanced passenger experience.”

And I stood there waxing nostalgic about the old 58-year-old Terminal 1 where your family could walk you to the gate and hold cardboard signs that said WELCOME HOME.

Now?

Southwest charges $35 per bag.
Assigned seating.

Have I gone to hell?

Photo: Woman at airport

I’d always loved the funky, anti-corporate, slightly chaotic charm of Southwest Airlines.

At 10 a.m., I stood in the TSA line performing what I now call the middle-aged striptease:

• Laptop out.
• Vest off.
• Purse (the size of a diaper bag for a menopausal woman) into a bin.
• Real ID? Boarding pass? WHERE ARE THEY?
• Sweat.

I redressed. Repacked. Power-walked to Gate 103 (which is approximately three zip codes from security).

And yes.
I have become that meme.

You know the one of the older woman shaking her fist at the miscreants on her lawn.

Today it was…
Men shouting into their cell phones while wearing earbuds.
People bulldozing through the crowd without eye contact.
Humanity scrolling instead of seeing.

I am a social justice warrior even in an airport.

And it’s exhausting being me.

The Truth?

I am so busy fighting the good fight
that I miss joy.

On the flight.
In the rental car.
Driving toward Colusa.

I didn’t notice:

Photo: Almond trees in bloom

• The smell of rain through the vents.
• The almond trees in bloom.
• The cool Northern California breeze.

I was either living in the past
or rehearsing the future.

And joy only lives now.

Then I Watched This.

That evening in my hotel room, I watched the replay of Alysa Liu skating her long program to “MacArthur Park Suite.”

It wasn’t cautious.
It wasn’t “don’t mess up.”
It was abandon.

Her face wasn’t performing seriousness.

It was lit from within.

That’s what got you.

Not the medal.

The joy.

Then I thought about Jordan Chiles.

Jordan doesn’t just execute choreography.

She dances. She moves her body.

To Whitney.
To Stevie.
To Black brilliance.
To rhythm that lives in the body.

She smiled.
On the floor.
During elite competition.

She didn’t shrink into composure.

She expanded into joy.

Her teammates danced on the sidelines.
Her coaches beamed.

The judges rewarded her.

But that wasn’t the point.

The joy was.

And then there’s Jamie Lee Curtis.

The first one on her feet when another woman wins.

Full-bodied applause.
Tears.
Radiant celebration.

Not polite.
Not performative.
Not tight-lipped.

Just:

YES. I SEE YOU.

That is joy too.

We Are Taught to Manage Joy.

• Don’t get too excited.
• Don’t celebrate too loudly.
• Don’t make it about you.
• Be grateful, not exuberant.
• Be composed, not ecstatic.
• Even our happiness must be tidy.

Contained.

Pleasant.

Joy Is Dangerous.

Photo: A dangerous woman

Joy says:

I am here.
I am alive.
I take up space.
I am not dimming this moment.

Systems can tolerate:

• Exhausted women.
• Over-functioning women.
• Self-sacrificing women.

But a joyful woman?

Uncontainable.

She doesn’t need permission.
She doesn’t need to be chosen.
She already chose herself.

Joy is Expansive

Photo: Women celebrating

Joy is integration.

It’s what happens when:

• Your body is allowed.
• Your voice is allowed.
• Your rhythm is allowed.
• Your desire is allowed.

Joy is the opposite of performance.

It is presence.

Ignited Leadership is not stoic.
It is embodied joy.

A joyful woman:

• Makes better decisions.
• Trusts her intuition.
• Leads with creativity.
• Celebrates other women.
• Expands the room.

Joy is not the reward at the end.

It's fuel.

Meet an Ignited Leader: Charlene Ohri

Photo: Charlene OhriOwner, Co-founder & Instructor, San Diego Yoga Center

When several of my favorite studios closed during COVID, I found my way here.

And I felt it immediately.

Not performative wellness.

Not boutique exclusion.

Community.

“All are welcome here.”

Charlene says:

“Yoga and the fitness industry veer toward ‘rich, white, thin females.’ I hire and welcome people of all ages, nationalities, sizes, and backgrounds so that whoever walks through our doors sees themselves represented. Yoga and fitness are for all.”

That’s Ignited Leadership.

She co-founded the Center because she knew she was meant for more. And when the other co-founder left, she became the sole owner.

To do that, she had to quiet her imposter syndrome.

Stand firm when treated differently as a female leader.

Ruffle feathers.

Refuse to shrink.

She says:

“People assume women will take whatever is given. We need to continue to let people know that what we say and do matters.”

Charlene leads with truth.
With compassion.
With joy.

And she’s changing the narrative for her daughter, for all of us.

That’s power-with.

Three Ways to Feel Joy (Today)

1. Turn the Music Up. All the Way.

Not background music.

Full-volume. Windows-down. Kitchen-dancing.

Whitney.
Stevie.
90s hip hop.
That song from high school you pretended not to love.

Move badly.
Laugh.
Sweat.

Joy lives in the body first.

2. Do One Useless Thing.

Something that produces nothing.

• Sit in the sun.
• Rearrange flowers.
• Doodle.
• Watch the ocean.
• Lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling.

No outcome.
No growth.
No lesson.

Just being.

That is radical for women trained to be useful.

3. Clap Loudly for Another Woman.

Like Jamie Lee Curtis.

Text her: “I am so proud of you.”

Comment publicly: “You are brilliant.”

Feel your chest expand.

Joy multiplies when shared.

That’s Ignited Leadership.

That’s power-with.

Here’s What I’m Learning About Joy

I don’t want to be the woman shaking her fist at the airport.

I want to be the woman who:

• Notices almond blossoms.
• Dances in her kitchen.
• Applauds other women loudly.
• Smiles in the middle of “an elite competition.”

Joy is not naïve.

It is rebellion.

And maybe the most radical leadership move we can make
is to be fully, unapologetically, lit-from-within alive.

ARE YOU READY TO BE A LOUDER GIRL?

Then JOIN:

If this blog made you think:

“Yes. I want more of this.”

Then you might be a LOUDER GIRL.

LOUDER GIRL is a community of women who:

• reclaim their voices
• practice Ignited Leadership
• celebrate other women
• refuse to shrink

Join the LOUDER GIRL movement

Your voice belongs here!