BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Reclaiming Community, Reciprocity, and the Wisdom We Forgot

Land Acknowledgement:
I acknowledged that I live and work as a resident on the ancestral lands of Taos Pueblo, and I honor the enduring relationships of the Pueblos, Núu-agha-tʉvʉ-pʉ̱ (Ute), Ndé Kónitsąąíí Gokíyaa (Lipan Apache), and Tigua (Tiwa) peoples with this place. My relationship with this land is one of a resident, learning to listen and belong. My commitment is to consistently honor this relationship through land acknowledgements, and my action is to use my voice within the Louder Girl community to create awareness, promoting a culture of reciprocity and healing for these lands and waters.

Here’s how to find out what Indigenous land you live on and tailored land acknowledgement for you:

1. Go to https://native-land.ca/.
2. Type in your address or Indigenous group.
3. Then “Click here to speak with Korero, our AI Territory Acknowledgement helper”

The Stories We Grew Up With: How American Individualism Silences Us

Statue of Liberty

Growing up in the United States, we were fed a steady stream of stories—through school, media, family, and culture—about individualism, productivity, and what success “should” look like. These stories sound empowering, but often leave us isolated, ashamed, and disconnected from ourselves and each other.

Here are some of the biggest myths:

1. Pull Yourself Up by Your Bootstraps
   If you’re struggling, hustle harder. Needing help equals weakness.
2. The Self-Made Man
   Success is a solo act. If you need support, something’s wrong with you.
3. Rugged Individualism
   The strongest people depend on no one. Softness is shameful.
4. Every Man for Himself
   Life is a competitive battlefield. Trust no one.

Photo of Gettysburg

5. If You Work Hard, You Can Achieve Anything
   Systemic barriers don’t exist. Rest is laziness.
6. The American Dream
   Success is linear and standardized. Productivity equals worth.
7. Pick Yourself Up When You Fall
   Get up immediately. Don’t feel. Don’t pause. Don’t heal.
8. Success Is Earned, Not Given
   Ease means you didn’t deserve it. Joy must be justified.

These stories wound us because they:

• Erase community, even though women and Indigenous peoples have survived because of community.
• Shame interdependence, even though relationships sustain life.
• Glorify overwork, pushing women toward exhaustion.
• Frame struggles as personal failure rather than systemic reality.
• Silence women’s stories because they don't fit the lone-hero mold.

Indigenous Wisdom Offers Another Way — And It’s Not New

Images of Native Americans in water

I opened this blog with a land acknowledgement for a reason. The Taos Pueblo has been continuously inhabited for 1,000 years and is the oldest continuously lived-in community in the U.S.

Compare the individualistic narratives above with Indigenous values that have supported thriving communities for over 12,000 years:

1. Community over individualism – Identity comes from belonging, not isolation.
2. Reciprocity over extraction – Thriving means giving back.
3. Interdependence over self-reliance – We rise together.
4. Connection over isolation – Stories bind us; they’re not private burdens.
5. Collective wisdom over lone heroism – Wisdom is inherited, shared, communal.
6. Relationship with land over domination – Land is alive and deserves care.
7. Shared responsibility over personal achievement – Leadership is mutual.
8. Healing through connection over endurance – Healing doesn’t happen alone.

 
Images of Native Americans dancing

How can thousands of years of Indigenous wisdom be wrong?
It’s not.
We have strayed from what makes us human — strength, wellness, and wholeness.

LOUDER GIRL: Using Story to Disrupt the Lies We Inherited

Do you know how many times I doubted myself about LOUDER GIRL?
Honestly, almost daily.

But those doubts used to silence me for months. Now they’re only momentary flashes. I’ve learned to recognize them as what they are: old stories, not my reality.

When those stories whisper,
You’re not strong enough. You’re not smart enough. Who do you think you are?
I remember that they’re echoes of the myths we inherited.

And we can disrupt these myths.

One simple tool is the Catch, Check, Change Method:

1. Catch It

Notice the exact negative thought and the feeling it triggers.

2. Check It

Ask:

• Is this based on fact or assumption?
• What evidence supports it?
• What evidence disproves it?
• Would I say this to a friend?
• Am I imagining the worst-case scenario?

3. Change It

Reframe the thought into something true, grounded, and empowering:

• “I can do hard things.”
• “I learn as I go.”
• “I am strong enough and supported enough to try.”

What LOUDER GIRLS Know

Our community knows the truth, one that’s been proven through thousands of years of human survival:

1. Sisterhood matters.
2. Reciprocity is medicine.
3. Interdependence makes us powerful, not weak.
4. Isolation kills our spirit.
5. Power-with is the only path; power-over people or land is destructive.
6. Healing happens in community. Always.

And the women of LOUDER GIRL feel it:

“I felt like a loser when I was fired. But being part of the Heroine Rising Workshop allowed me to share my story without feeling embarrassed.”
— Maria M., Heroine Rising participant

“I look forward to the LOUDER GIRL webinars. It’s an hour of self-care, an hour with women who see me and hear me.”
— Betty L., LOUDER GIRL Webinar participant

Join the LOUDER GIRL Movement

We don’t just talk about empowerment.
We practice it together.

How to get involved:

BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Reclaiming Rest, Reflection, and Renewal
Date: December 8th and 22nd 
Time: 4 PM to 5 PM Pacific
RSVP Here → https://www.loudergirl.com/webinar
Walk away with community and support, peace, and renewed power.

Coming Soon: HEROINE RISING: A 6-Week Live Workshop
Date: 2026 Dates TBA
Time: 4 PM – 5:30 PM Pacific
Format: 90 minutes Live on Zoom

Step Fully Into Your Power and Be the Heroine of Your Own Story
This is the next level — for the woman ready to stop shrinking and start SHINING, unapologetically surrounded by women who see and celebrate her.

You’ll learn to:

• Mother yourself.
• Love yourself.
• And rise — not just for you, but for every woman who comes after.

SIGN UP HERE for the waiting list → https://www.loudergirl.com/gatherings

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