BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Looking Back. Being Here. Dreaming What’s Next.

For Molly, Kelly, and Jack, my brilliant, funny, kind, kickass children and human beings.

A couple of months ago, my daughters—Molly and Kelly—texted the family chat:

“We don’t really want to exchange Christmas gifts this year.”

And just like that, an era ended.

For decades, I was Santa.
Midnight cookie crumbs. Milk sips. Stockings overflowing with candy and care.
I decorated the tree. Hung the stockings. Set out the manger.
I sat through fifteen years of the same winter concerts and sang along anyway.
I mailed the cards. Made Christmas breakfast. Held the magic.

Even when the kids were grown, Santa showed up—Trader Joe’s candy, gift cards, and the sacred Christmas morning breakfast around the dining room table.

Photo: Family in front of chicken coop

Until now.

In 2025, we decided to skip the gifts.
No consumer frenzy. No forced traditions. No more stuff.

It makes sense.
And still it’s bittersweet.

This will be the first Christmas morning without that familiar gathering.
No breakfast spread. No table full of rituals.

What I feel isn’t loss.
It’s a transition.

Because this is what parenting really is:
A thousand small goodbyes.
From cutting the umbilical cord to handing over the car keys.
From bedtime stories to independence.

And here’s the truth I don’t say often enough:
My kids are grown. And they are good.
Responsible. Brilliant. Kind.
And I’m wildly proud.

In January 2026, we’ll gather again but differently.
We’ll talk about the best of 2025.
Pull out a 2026 calendar.
Plan experiences, not purchases.
Make room for presence.

And when I look around that table, I’ll feel gratitude so deep it steadies me.

No regret.
Not one damn thing.

Photo: Family 2025

How to Say Goodbye to 2025 Without Beating Yourself Up

I spent most of my life angry about what I didn’t have.
I catalogued the pain.
Replayed regret.
Used the past as armor.

I never looked back at a year with tenderness.
Only with judgment.

Until now.

Today, I choose gratitude without denial of the difficult times.
And honesty without cruelty.
And reflection without shame.

Photo: Woman looking back

To say farewell to 2025 with love and compassion, try this:

1. Ask better questions
   Replace “What went wrong?” with:

• What did this year ask of me?
• Where did I grow even if it was unwillingly?
• What did I survive that deserves acknowledgment?

2. Practice Both/And
   We don’t have to erase the hard parts to honor the year.
   Say:

• This year was hard and I showed up with more courage than before.
• I didn’t get everything I wanted and I built something meaningful.

3. Write a Thank-You Letter to 2025
   Not a highlight reel. A real one.
   Thank the year for:

• What didn’t work
• Who stayed and who didn’t
• What cracked you open
• Where you still need grace and compassion

The Power of Being Present (Because I Don’t Want to Miss This)

I’ve lived in the past.
I’ve panicked about the future.
I’ve outrun fear with productivity.

At thirty, I broke.
At fifty-two, my body said, “Enough.”

So, I stopped.

Photo: Woman breathing

I learned to breathe.
To sit still.
To practice radical self-devotion instead of living in survival mode.

And a decade later, at 62,I can say this clearly:
Presence saved my life.

Instead of measuring 2025 with outcomes and output, try measuring with moments of being:

• When you paused instead of reacting
• When you told the truth
• When you rested
• When you said no

These small, present moments will build the life you deserve and desire.

Creating Your LOUDER GIRL 2026 Life

This is the time we stop living on autopilot.

Photo: Women experiencing joy

For me to honor the past, be present, and move forward, I had to change my relationship with:

• Myself (compassion over punishment)
• Time (no longer trapped in the past or future)
• My story (I’m not the victim; I’m the leader of my life)

Here’s the LOUDER GIRL framework for 2026:

1. Redefine Success
   Hustle culture is tired, and so are we.
   New metrics:

• Presence over performance
• Enoughness over achievement
• Alignment over approval

Practice:
Ask What made me feel alive this week?
(Not What did I accomplish?)

2. Practice Presence (Gently)
   Presence isn’t a personality trait; it’s a practice.
   Try:

• Placing a hand on your body during hard moments
• Naming feelings without fixing them
• Practicing gratitude by identifying three small things, daily
• Smiling at yourself in the mirror

3. Replace Self-Criticism with Self-Witnessing
   Most of my life, I thought being “honest” with myself meant being critical. It’s not.
   
   Shift the inner voice from:
   Why didn’t I do better?
   to:
   What was the lesson?
   
   That’s leadership.
   That’s growth.
   That’s LOUDER GIRL energy.

Final Truth

You don’t need a new year to become your most authentic, compassionate, and joyful self.
You need to give yourself permission to be fully here.

And if you’re ready to look back with gratitude, stand firmly in the present, and dream a future that feels like yours—

Welcome. You’re already becoming a LOUDER GIRL.

RSVP for Free BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL January Webinars:

January 2026 begins the year of SELF LEADERSHIP.

In 2025, I took a long, hard look in the mirror, got honest with myself, and discarded the masks of social expectations I’d been wearing. This led me to undeniable and authentic self truths. One of the biggest and deepest ones is I cannot be the kind of leader the world needs if I’m not the leader of my own life.

Join these free webinars to find out how to be the leader of your own life and get support from other women in the LOUDER GIRL community

BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Be the Leader of Your Life

January 5th and 19th | 4–5 PM Pacific
Walk away with connection to your authentic self and others to become the leaders the world needs NOW.

YES, I’m In → RSVP Now https://www.loudergirl.com/webinar

Coming Soon: HEROINE RISING: A 6-Week Live Workshop
Step Fully into Your Power and Be the Heroine of Your Own Story
This is the next level — for the woman ready to stop shrinking and start SHINING, unapologetically surrounded by women who see and celebrate her.

In this workshop, you’ll discover:

• How to become the heroine of your story
• How to reclaim your power
• How to “mother” and love yourself to find and use your voice
• How to become an awakened/conscious/whole leader, the kind the world needs
• How we rise together

Spaces are limited. Join the waiting list and claim your seat at the table of sisterhood.

Put Me on the Wait List! → https://www.loudergirl.com/gatherings