BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Is “Looking in the Mirror” Helping or Hurting You? Part 2: Looking—and Loving—What I See

Part 1 was about reflection.
Looking honestly in the mirror.
Seeing the stories we’ve swallowed.
Naming where we’ve shrunk, silenced, or disappeared.

Part 2 is about what comes next.
Standing in our truth.
Owning our story.
Becoming the heroine and the director of your life.

Because reflection without action is just another way to stay stuck.

The Leadership Stories We’ve Been Sold

A couple of Fridays ago, I shared my work on a new kind of leadership I call IGNITED LEADERSHIP with my writing group.

To set the stage, I named the obvious:
Most leadership stories in the U.S. center white, older men with money and in power positions in government, corporations, culture, science, and philanthropy.

Bottom line:
The stories we’re fed about leadership are simplistic, repetitive, and exclusionary.

And because representation shapes reality, the leadership styles that dominate are the ones these systems reward.

The Leadership Styles That Dominate (and Why They Don’t Work)

Photo: Hero Leadership

The common U.S. leadership models fall into these familiar categories:

• Transactional: Perform or be replaced.
• Authoritarian: I decide. You comply.
• Patriarchal & Hierarchical: Leadership looks like me.
• Lone Wolf / Hero Leadership: The genius at the top.
• Extractive Leadership: What can I grow, squeeze, or scale at any cost?

These models prioritize:

• Power over people
• Profit over humanity
• Expansion over sustainability

And we’re all paying the price.

When Passion Gets Labeled a “Rant”

Photo: Angry woman

After I shared these truths with the writing group, someone said,

“That was quite the rant.”

And there it was.
That familiar move.
Dismiss the message by policing the tone.

“Rant” has long been used to shrink women who speak passionately about injustice. Or are labeled: Too loud. Too angry. Too much.

For a moment, I felt the old urge to bite my tongue, stay silent.

Then something shifted.

Owning the Fire Instead of Apologizing for It

I realized something important:

If women keep saying the same things for decades,
the problem isn’t that we’re “ranting.”

The problem is that nothing has changed.

So yes—there was fire in my words.
And I’m done apologizing for it.

Because fire is how we see clearly.
Fire is how stories change.

Introducing: IGNITED LEADERSHIP

IGNITED LEADERSHIP is the antithesis of dominant leadership models.

It’s not about being President, CEO, or famous.

IGNITED LEADERSHIP is how you live.

And anyone can practice it.

What IGNITED LEADERSHIP Looks Like

IGNITED LEADERS:

• Light the Damn Fire – They ignite purpose instead of dragging people along.
• Walk It Like They Talk It – Values aren’t performative; they’re practiced.
• Point to the Horizon – Clear vision, shared direction.
• Are Trustworthy AF – Integrity when no one’s watching.
• Set the Emotional Temperature – Calm in chaos. Hope in hard moments.
• Lead Through Connection, Not Control – People feel seen and safe.
• Know Their Own Shit – Self-aware, reflective, accountable.
• Choose Courage Over Comfort – Risk, repair, learn, repeat.
• Make Room for Others to Rise – Power shared, not hoarded.
• Show Up Fully, Not Perfectly – Consistent. Present. Human.
• Actually Get Shit Done – Because intention without action is just talk.

Leadership Starts with the Woman in the Mirror

Here’s the truth I had to face:

I couldn’t rail against broken leadership while refusing to embody something different.

So, I looked in the mirror.
And decided to be the change, not just demand it.

That’s where leadership really begins.

Photo: Woman with hands on heart and belly

You Don’t Need Permission to Be a Leader

You don’t need:

• A title
• A platform
• A corner office
• Approval from anyone

Leadership is how you show up—in your life, your work, your relationships, your community.

This Is What the LOUDER GIRL Community is For

LOUDER GIRL exists to help us:

• Claim our voices
• Own our stories
• Trust our fire
• Practice leadership from the inside out

We are a community of women becoming IGNITED LEADERS of our own lives.

Not someday.
Not when we’re “ready.”
Now.

Because when women rise louder—
they don’t just change themselves.
They change the world.

Photo: Hands on tree

Your Invitation (Read This Slowly)

If something in you stirred while reading this—
that’s not anger.
That’s clarity.

• Stop shrinking.
• Stop waiting for permission.
• Stop believing leadership belongs to someone else.

Look in the mirror.
Claim your story.
Lead your life—out loud and on purpose.

• Join the LOUDER GIRL community.
• Bring your voice, your truth, your fire.
• Become an IGNITED LEADER—right where you are.

Because when women rise louder,
they don’t just change their own lives.
They change the story for everyone.

Photo: Girls holding hands

BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Self-Leadership — Igniting the Leader Within
January 5 and 19 | 4–5 PM Pacific
Walk away with connection, support, peace, and the fire to keep going.
YES, I’m In → RSVP Now https://www.loudergirl.com/webinar

Coming Soon: HEROINE RISING: A 6-Week Live Workshop
Step Fully into Your Power and Be the Heroine of Your Own Story
This is the next level — for the woman ready to stop shrinking and start SHINING, unapologetically surrounded by women who see and celebrate her.

In this workshop, you’ll discover:

• How to become the heroine of your story
• How to reclaim your power
• How to “mother” and love yourself to find and use your voice
• How to become an awakened/conscious/whole leader, the kind the world needs
• How we rise together

Spaces are limited. Join the waiting list and claim your seat at the table of sisterhood.

Put Me on the Wait List! → https://www.loudergirl.com/gatherings