BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Ignited Leadership — Illumining the Leader Within (Part 1 of 2)

Welcome to 2026.

And before we rush toward anything shiny or new, let’s be honest about what we’re carrying with us.

2025 Was Brutal.

For many of us, it came with loss.

Jobs disappeared. Loved ones died. Pets crossed the rainbow bridge.
There were diagnoses we didn’t expect, financial hits we didn’t plan for, and relationships we finally had the courage to walk away from.

I don’t want to sugarcoat it.

2025 sucked.

Photo: Goodbye 2025

You may still be reeling from the aftermath and that matters.

My hope is you asked for help and received it.
My hope is you loved (or are learning to love) yourself through it.
That you gave yourself grace.
That you stayed in bed when you needed to.
That you ate the damn Ben & Jerry’s.
That you watched General Hospital marathons, sipped tea while watching the rain, or let yourself go quiet.

And my deepest wish?

That you went inward.
That you dug deep.
That you discovered your truth.

Because that’s what I did.

When the Bottom Falls Out

Photo: Image of woman getting fired

I’ve shared pieces of my 2025 story before, so here’s the short version.

I was “set free”—a term I’m intentionally using now instead of fired or let go—from the nonprofit I was consulting for. And I felt like absolute shit.

This wasn’t my first rodeo.
It was the third organization that had terminated my work, including UC San Diego and a local Native American tribe.

Back in January 2017, after earning my PhD and being set free from both UCSD and USD, I collapsed.
I slept for nearly two years.
I did the bare minimum to keep my family afloat.
There was a lot of reality TV. A lot of red wine.
No calendar. No alarms. No forward momentum.

And a whole lot of self-shaming.

At the psychiatrist’s office, I scored 18 out of 20 for anxiety and depression.

With medication, rest, and structure, I slowly came back.
In 2019, I was hired as a consultant by a tribe and stayed for five years until I was set free again.
I licked my wounds for a few weeks, landed the nonprofit role… and then, once again, the rug was pulled out from under me.

Each time, my self-worth tanked.

I was furious.
How dare they.
I had given my heart, my soul, my brilliance and I was dismissed without even a kiss goodbye.

I blamed them.
All of them.

Until one day…
I stopped running.

The Mirror I’d Been Avoiding

I finally looked in the mirror I’d been dodging for decades.

And let me be clear—it wasn’t pretty.
There were moments I had to step away just to catch my breath.

But what came next changed everything.

Three Self-Truths That Set Me Free

1. I Took My Power Back.
I had handed my power over to institutions, titles, and other people’s opinions.
I was done letting anyone else define me.

2. I Fired Victimhood.
I had been wallowing in self-pity, blaming others for my worth collapsing.
Not anymore.
I now decide my value. Full stop.

3. I Became the Heroine of My Own Story.
For decades, I let parents, peers, culture, media, organizations, and systems tell me who I should be and how I should live.

Be gone, embodied shame.
Be gone, borrowed stories.

There’s a new sheriff in town.

Why I Created IGNITED LEADERSHIP

Those self-truths didn’t just heal me.
They ignited something.

And that’s how IGNITED LEADERSHIP was born.

Not from a boardroom.
Not from a title.
But from radical self-honesty.

Why Self-Truth Is the First Flame of IGNITED LEADERSHIP

IGNITED LEADERSHIP doesn’t begin with influence, strategy, or credentials.

It begins with self-truth—because you cannot ignite others if you are disconnected from yourself.

1. You Can’t Lead What You’re Lying About
If you’re avoiding your truth—your exhaustion, resentment, fear, longing—you end up leading from:

• performance instead of presence
• control instead of connection
• approval instead of integrity

Self-truth asks one simple, uncomfortable question:

What is true for me right now?

Not aspirational truth.
Not “should” truth.
Not Instagram truth.

Real truth.

2. Self-Truth is the Antidote to Performative Leadership
Most dominant leadership models reward:

• image over integrity
• confidence over clarity
• certainty over curiosity

IGNITED LEADERSHIP burns that to the ground.

When you’re grounded in self-truth:

• you don’t posture
• you don’t over-explain or over-give
• you don’t betray yourself to be liked

Your leadership becomes embodied, not acted.

3. Self-Truth Creates Trust (Without Trying)

People don’t trust perfection.

They trust congruence.

When your inner world matches your outer behavior:

• your words land
• your boundaries make sense
• your “no” is clear
• your “yes” has energy

Self-truth makes you credible without performing authority.

Stay tuned for more about self-truths in Part 2.

Three Simple Ways to Begin Your Self-Truth Journey

1. Name What You’re No Longer Available For
Self-truth often shows up faster through boundaries than affirmations.
Finish these:

• I’m no longer available for ________.
• I’m done pretending that ________ is okay.
• I keep saying yes to ________, but my body says no.

2. Practice Micro-Honesty
You don’t have to tell everyone everything.
Just stop lying to yourself.
Try this:

• “I’m not tired—I’m resentful.”
• “I don’t need motivation—I need rest.”
• “I don’t hate this job—I hate how small I feel in it.”

3. Remove One Mask
Just one.
Ask yourself:

• Where am I performing a version of myself that no longer fits?
• What role do I play to feel accepted, needed, or safe?

Then… don’t do that thing once.

Notice what happens.
Notice what doesn’t.

A final LOUDER GIRL Reminder

Photo: Image of Truth and Love

Self-truth is not:

• harsh
• selfish
• dramatic
• disloyal

Self-truth is:

• grounding
• clarifying
• stabilizing
• liberating

And it is the first flame of IGNITED LEADERSHIP.

Final LOUDER GIRL Truth

Leadership doesn’t begin when someone follows you.
It begins the moment you stop abandoning yourself.

Self-truth is not loud or dramatic.
It doesn’t demand attention.
It steadies you.

When you tell yourself the truth:

• your choices become cleaner
• your boundaries become kinder
• your voice becomes clearer
• your leadership becomes embodied

You don’t need to be fearless.
You don’t need to be certain.
You don’t need permission.

You just need the courage to say,
“This is true for me.”

That is the first step.
That is IGNITED LEADERSHIP.
And that is what it means to become a LOUDER GIRL.

RSVP for Free BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL January Webinars:

January 2026 begins the year of IGNITED LEADERSHIP which begins with self-leadership.

Join these free webinars to find out how to be the leader of your own life and get support from other women in the LOUDER GIRL community.

BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Be the Leader of Your Life
January 5th and 19th | 4–5 PM Pacific
Walk away with connection to your authentic self and others to become the leaders the world needs NOW.
YES, I’m In → RSVP Now https://www.loudergirl.com/webinar

Coming Soon: HEROINE RISING: A 6-Week Live Workshop
Step Fully into Your Power and Be the Heroine of Your Own Story
This is the next level — for the woman ready to stop shrinking and start SHINING, unapologetically surrounded by women who see and celebrate her.

In this workshop, you’ll discover:

• How to become the heroine of your story
• How to reclaim your power
• How to “mother” and love yourself to find and use your voice
• How to become an awakened/conscious/whole leader, the kind the world needs
• How we rise together

Spaces are limited. Join the waiting list and claim your seat at the table of sisterhood.

Put Me on the Wait List! → https://www.loudergirl.com/gatherings 

Stay connected with news and updates!