BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Ignited Leadership: Igniting the Leader Within (Part 2 of 2)

Welcome to 2026.

And before we rush toward anything shiny or new, let’s be honest about what we’re carrying with us.

2025 Was Brutal.

For many of us, it came with loss.
Jobs disappeared. Loved ones died. Pets crossed the rainbow bridge.
There were diagnoses we didn’t expect, financial hits we didn’t plan for, and relationships we finally had the courage to walk away from.

I don’t want to sugarcoat it.
2025 sucked.

You may still be reeling from the aftermath and that matters.

My hope is you asked for help and received it.
My hope is you loved (or are learning to love) yourself through it.
That you gave yourself grace.
That you stayed in bed when you needed to.
That you ate the damn Ben & Jerry’s.
That you watched General Hospital marathons, sipped tea while watching the rain, or let yourself go quiet.

And my deepest wish?

That you went inward.
That you dug deep.
That you discovered your truth.

Because that’s what I did.

Three Self-Truths That Set Me Free

Photo: Me walking in Taos with dog, Hazel

1. I Took My Power Back.
   I had handed my power over to institutions, titles, and other people’s opinions.
   I was done letting anyone else define me.
2. I Fired Victimhood.
   I had been wallowing in self-pity, blaming others for my worth collapsing.
   Not anymore.
   I now decide my value. Full stop.
3. I Became the Heroine of My Own Story.
   For decades, I let parents, peers, culture, media, organizations, and systems tell me who I should be and how I should live.

Be gone, embodied shame.
Be gone, borrowed stories.

There’s a new sheriff in town.

When Self-Truth Gets Tested

Photo: Foggy road

You drive four miles to your parents’ house with homemade chicken enchilada soup and a full heart.

Four miles isn’t far.
But the journey here took decades.

By four years old, you were already the caretaker—first for your mother and sister, then your brother.
Your childhood was collateral damage to chaos.

For most of your life, the resentment burned hot.

But time has shifted things.

Your father is eighty-five.
His body has endured a triple bypass, brain surgery, COPD, sleepless nights, and forgetfulness.
In recent years, something softened. Not forgiveness, something quieter.
A truce.

You were tired of being angry.

You remembered Buddha’s truth:
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

So, you sit in their living room.
Your parents in their La-Z-Boys. You are on the couch, finally grounded.

You talk about doctors, restless legs, singing gigs at convalescent homes.
Then it’s your turn.

You share your inner work.
Your self-truths.
How, for the first time, you are leading your own life.

You say it clearly:

• You took back your power.
• You fired victimhood.
• You became the heroine of your story.

Your face is flushed. Your hands are animated. You are alive in your truth.

And then—

“Why are you writing a book?” your dad asks.
“I wrote a book and you don’t see me talking about it.”

Your old reaction tries to surface.
Shrink. Silence. Swallow.

But not today.

“I wouldn’t be in your audience,” he adds.

I look him straight in the eye.

“No. You wouldn’t.
I’m writing for women who have been shut down and silenced.”

He starts to interrupt.

I say. “I’m talking.”

“You’re doing exactly what I’m writing about by asking me to agree, to appease, to be the good girl.
I’m not doing that anymore.”

He stares at me.

Maybe seeing me for the first time.
Or maybe because I’m finally being me for the first time.

That moment?

That was self-truth in action.
And it was leadership.

Photo: Girl Power

Why Self-Truth Is the First Flame of IGNITED LEADERSHIP

In Part 1, we named the beginning of self-truth—
the moment you stop lying to yourself, stop performing leadership, and start leading from alignment instead of approval.

Sharing my truth with my dad was that first ignition.
I no longer needed his permission.

But self-truth doesn’t stop at awareness.

Part 2 is About Integration.

Not insight.
Embodiment.

This is where self-truth reshapes how you hold power, move through conflict, and impact others.

This is where:

• self-truth becomes self-esteem
• leadership stops repeating harm
• internal authority replaces permission-seeking

If Part 1 was about taking the mask off,
Part 2 is about learning how to live without it.

Let’s go there.

1. Self-Truth Builds Self-Esteem (Not Confidence)
   Confidence can be manufactured.
   Self-esteem cannot.
   Self-truth builds self-esteem because:

• you stop gaslighting yourself
• you stop outsourcing your worth
• you stop needing consensus to know who you are

• hold discomfort
• stay present in conflict
• lead without domination

2. Without Self-Truth, Leadership Repeats Harm
   Unexamined leadership defaults to:

• power over instead of power with
• extraction instead of reciprocity
• urgency instead of sustainability
  
  Self-truth interrupts the cycle by asking:

• When am I leading from fear?
• Where am I abandoning myself?
• What am I afraid to name?

IGNITED LEADERSHIP requires this reckoning before leading others.

3. Self-Truth Is an Act of Liberation (Especially for Women)
   We’ve been trained to:

• soften our needs
• doubt our knowing
• prioritize harmony over honesty
  
  Self-truth says:
  I trust my internal authority.
  
  And that?
  That’s revolutionary.

Three Ways to Integrate Self-Truth into IGNITED LEADERSHIP

1. Lead From the Body Before the Mouth
   Self-truth lives in the body first.
   Before you respond, decide, or confront—check in:

• Is my chest tight or open?
• Is my jaw clenched or relaxed?
• Am I rushing, freezing, or steady?
  
  IGNITED PRACTICE:
  If your body says no, your mouth doesn’t get to say yes.

2. Replace Approval-Seeking with Internal Authority
   Ask yourself:
   Who am I trying to satisfy right now?
   
   If the answer is fear, optics, likability, or not disappointing someone—
   you’re performing, not leading.
   
   IGNITED PRACTICE:
   “If no one needed to approve this, what would I choose?”
   
   Internal authority isn’t arrogance.
   It’s clarity without apology.

3. Tell the Truth Early—Gently, Clearly, Once
   Truth delayed becomes resentment.
   
   IGNITED PRACTICE:
   Name what’s true before it turns into:

• withdrawal
• passive aggression
• self-abandonment
  
  This sounds like:

• “Something isn’t sitting right with me yet.”
• “I need more time before committing.”
• “I’m noticing resistance and I want to honor it.”
  
  Truth told early is care.
  Truth swallowed is violence—usually toward yourself.

Final LOUDER GIRL Truth

Self-truth isn’t a one-time breakthrough.
It’s the practice you return to when it would be easier to appease, perform, or disappear.

IGNITED LEADERSHIP isn’t being louder than others.
It’s not avoiding yourself.

And from that place?

You don’t dominate.
You don’t extract.
You don’t abandon yourself.

You lead like a LOUDER GIRL—steady, sovereign, and on fire.

Photo: Burning Heart

RSVP for Free BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL January Webinars:

January 2026 begins the year of IGNITED LEADERSHIP which begins with self-leadership.

Join these free webinars to find out how to be the leader of your own life and get support from other women in the LOUDER GIRL community

BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Be the Leader of Your Life

January 19th | 4–5 PM Pacific
Walk away with connection to your authentic self and others to become the leaders the world needs NOW.

YES, I’m In → RSVP Now https://www.loudergirl.com/webinar

Coming Soon: HEROINE RISING: A 6-Week Live Workshop
Step Fully into Your Power and Be the Heroine of Your Own Story
This is the next level — for the woman ready to stop shrinking and start SHINING, unapologetically surrounded by women who see and celebrate her.

In this workshop, you’ll discover:

• How to become the heroine of your story
• How to reclaim your power
• How to “mother” and love yourself to find and use your voice
• How to become an awakened/conscious/whole leader, the kind the world needs
• How we rise together

Spaces are limited. Join the waiting list and claim your seat at the table of sisterhood.

Put Me on the Wait List! → https://www.loudergirl.com/gatherings

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