Becoming a LOUDER GIRL: I’m Too Much and Enough

“When we speak, we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed.
But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak.”
— Audre Lorde, poet and civil rights activist

Facing Down My Father

My dad and I stood toe-to-toe in the living room.
I don’t remember what we were fighting about. It didn’t matter; they always ended with a standoff.
Me, 5’6”, defiant and angry.
Dad, 6’2”, needing to dominate.
Yes/No. Black/White. Right/Wrong. Winner/Loser.

The first time I challenged him, I was seven.
“You’re a drunk and you make me sick,” I said. I hoped my words would stop him from drinking. I was already tired of trying to protect my mom, my sister, and my brother.

Labeled and Dismissed

My family had plenty of names for me:

• “A batch of chocolate chip cookies” (kid code for bitch).
• “Dramatic.”
• “Too much.”

The words stung. What happens to you when those who are supposed to love you don’t like you? You believe them. And you shove down anger, resentment, and loneliness so deep that it turns into chronic depression and anxiety.

Becoming a Mama Bear

When my daughters were born, I put my anger into protecting them, fiercely. Like the day my youngest, in tears, told me about another fifth grader who pulled her hair and pinched her.

I slammed my car door and ran toward the auditorium to chase down the bully, my adrenaline pumping.

By the time I’d returned to the car, I’d calmed down.
Thank God, I didn’t find that little girl.

The Society’s Labels vs. My Truth

Over the decades, people have called me:
Aggressive. Feminazi. Angry. Emotional. Loud. Mannish. Intense. Nasty. Opinionated.

Something shifted in my 50s, and by 60, I understood that categorizing me as a “bitch,” “too much,” or “this isn’t how a lady acts” was just another way to keep me small and silent.

F*ck that, I’m no lady.
I no longer give a flying fornication about what people think of me.

As Wayne Dyer says: “What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people.”

I see the truth, my truth: my voice, passion, and empathy as strengths. I'm proud of the girl who stood up to her dad and the woman creating LOUDER GIRL.

You Are Never Too Young or Too Old to Love Yourself

Ways to be kinder to yourself and boost self-worth:

1. The Two-Minute Mirror Check-In: Each morning look in the mirror, make eye contact, and say something kind to yourself like “I am worthy of respect” or “I’m a badass.”
2. Mistake → Compassion Swap: The next time you start beating yourself for a mistake, pause. Ask, "If my best friend made this mistake, what would I say to her?" Then say the gentler response to yourself.
3. Gratitude Sticky Notes: At the end of the day, write one thing you appreciate about yourself on a sticky note such as "I said NO" or "I went for a 10-minute walk during work." Stick it on your mirror, fridge, or laptop. Over time, you’ll create visual reminders of your worth.
   
   

Final Takeaway

Being “too much” isn’t a flaw; it’s a refusal to be silent. Loving yourself at 7, 14, 25, or 60 is the bravest thing you can do. And together, through LOUDER GIRL, we’re building a world where women’s voices aren’t just heard—they’re celebrated.

LOUDER GIRL Spotlight

Meet Captain Becca and Chief Mate Skylar

To bid adieu to summer my friend Rhonda of almost 50 years chartered a boat for a sunset sail. The evening was magic with the salty taste of the ocean, the feel of the warm breeze on our faces, and the sound of the waves lapping against the hull.

But the real highlight wasn’t the scenery, it was the crew. Both the captain and the chief mate were young women. They shared they were proud of being leaders in a field still dominated by men. They hoped to inspire other women to step up and take the helm.

LOUDER GIRL celebrates women like these: fearless, trailblazing, and ready to chart a new course for all of us.

Ready To Get LOUDER, Girl?

If you're ready to shine your light and discover your power through storytelling, join me at the next FREE immersive LOUDER GIRL Webinar:

BECOMING A LOUDER GIRL: Call in Your Power, Let Go of Your Limits, and Blind 'Em with Your Brilliance
Date: September 22, 2025
Time: 4 PM to 5 PM Pacific
RSVP Here: https://www.loudergirl.com/webinar
You’ll walk away with new clarity, renewed confidence, and maybe even the first chapter of your transformation.

HEROINE RISING
A 6-week live workshop beginning November 6th. Together, we will:

• Quiet the inner critic.
• Release limiting beliefs.
• Step boldly into our stories.

Date: Thursdays starting November 6th
Time: 4 pm – 5:30 pm PT
Where: Live on Zoom
Sign up here: https://www.loudergirl.com/gatherings

Through guided storytelling, writing, and sisterhood, you’ll learn to take up space unapologetically, speak your truth with confidence, and rise in the company of women who uplift and celebrate you.